the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
