I'm so fucking centered right now
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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