I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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