wanna go halves on a baby?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
