Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
