question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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