like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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