I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
