everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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