I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
