I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
