I'm going to jail i love you
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize