the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
