I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
