You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
