why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
