I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
