what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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