shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
as a side note pls kill me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
