he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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