I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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