I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
