I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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