I could make wine with my vomit
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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