you have to choose: penises or morals?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i drank out of a bidet.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
