Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
