We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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