I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
