covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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