i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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