bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
