Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
