then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
