Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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