**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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