She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
