I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
