AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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