it was like eating out sand paper
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
