just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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