So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
