lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
