I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
