i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
