uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
