No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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