hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
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you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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