her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Vodka?
Forever.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
