I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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