I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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