have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
