he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
