Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
