ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
