He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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