I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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