Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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