just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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