god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
birth control should be required to get into college
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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