I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
