Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize