She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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