I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
