WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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